Letter To Your Younger Self

Becca Sandler

Becca Sandler - Yoga Teacher & Life Coach to be

Currently undertaking a Yoga Teaching qualification and training to be a Life Coach.

Dear younger Becca,

What an amazing person you are. A whirlwind of excitement, drive, ambition, opinions,
intelligence and care. Please learn to harness your power in a way that serves you and

Be slow to judge and quick to forgive. 

Don’t waste your energy on who got invited to the party at the end of the week but be
proud of the amazing, eclectic group of friends that you have acquired, from all the
various aspects of your life:

–       The friend you made during your musical theatre productions throughout secondary school, who will become one of your best friends for years to come, even though you never went to the same school and ended up going to university on opposite sides of the country.
–       The friend you reconnected with during your confirmation classes, who you knew from primary school but had lost touch with for 10 years.
–       The friend who you look forward to seeing every Friday and Saturday
evening when you traipse into Waitrose for your part-time job.
–       The friend that you will make in a 65-year-old man, who started off as your singing teacher during sixth form and is now almost like a surrogate great uncle who you still see into your adult life. 
–       The best friend you made during sixth form, and then lost touch with for a few years during/after uni because your lives were going in different directions but who you are now building a wonderful relationship with again that you are so grateful for. 
–       The best friend from university who you will hurt by deciding to go on your Erasmus year, leaving her in the lurch with a house you’d signed together but the gratitude and overwhelm you feel when she forgave you and you were able to piece your relationship back together in your third year and who will remain your best friend for the rest of your life.
–       The friends you have made in your brother’s friends’ who are all at least two years older than you

That’s another thing, give your brother a break. He loves you more than anything, and although you have had your differences in the past, namely, that he started going out with your best friend, he didn’t do it to spite you, he did it because he really grew to love her.

“Cherish and nurture the relationships that fill you up and really try to recognise the ones that wash you out.”

Recognise that people can only give what they can give.
And that you will be disappointed with that sometimes, but acknowledging it will make it easier on you and the other person because you are in control of how you react to it. 

Know that: 
–       You are strong. 
–       You are beautiful. 
–       Your brain is a gift. 
–       Your opinions matter (if they sometimes need a little finessing in delivery). 
–       You are going to do something great. 
–       You have such a powerful energy, use it to connect with people and share with people because it makes yours and their world a brighter place
–       You will be given one of the biggest compliments during your sixth form scholarship singing exam, when you are told that you smile with your eyes when you are singing. 
–       You are gifted in so many ways… that you don’t even know yet and will
continue to learn along the way. Listen to compliments, thank the person who gave them to you, it took a lot of balls for them to give it to you.
–       Give compliments to people, even if they are coy about it, it will have
touched them in a positive way 
–       Your visual impairment doesn’t define your limitations but it does make up a part of your identity and that is ok. You have adapted impeccably to every situation you have ever been faced with and smashed it. Whether that is skiing in a blizzard, sitting your exams in a separate room so you can have rest breaks to close your eyes before jumping back in, learning to navigate public transport on your own, having to screenshot menus on websites when they don’t zoom in far enough, having to take pictures of signs in stations or at bus stops so you can zoom in to check you’re at the right one, coming to terms with the fact that you are never going to drive, having to tell potential employers that you will be slightly slower at reading large blocks of text, coming up against criticism when you miss typos in documents that you have been given to proof read at the end of the day, explaining that it would be better if someone else did it due to your visual impairment and being ignored and then reprimanded because there still were mistakes etc. 

The workplace is hard. The workplace is fun. Getting into the workplace is TOUGH. You won’t know what you want to do for at least a few years after you have been working in the professional world full-time and that is ok. 

You MUST fill your life with things that make you happy. What is the point otherwise?

Love is the most important thing at the end of the day. Loving yourself, loving your family, loving your friends and loving your life. If you don’t love your life, sit down and figure out why not.  

Anxiety is going to be part of your life, it is part of most people’s lives, but you will be open and honest with people about it. Not when you are suffering badly with it, because you will not be able to articulate or even think straight or see a way out. But once you are stronger and seeing more clearly you will be able to support friends, family and even strangers who are suffering, because you can empathise. It is important to acknowledge
difference in everything. Everyone will experience it differently, to different degrees and in different scenarios. Be kind, always. 

I know this is a lot to read and it’s a little jumbled, but that is how life can be. I want you to know that whatever you are feeling, going through or are scared that you don’t know, it has all been felt, gone through and not known before, by hundreds of thousands of others. This is not to diminish how you are feeling, what you are going through or what you are scared of, but it is to empower you to know that you are not alone, and there is ALWAYS someone or something out there that can support you.

All my love,

Becca, 2020

Dear Becca Sandler