CLMB

Letter To Your Younger Self

Eve Erin Allsop

Eve Erin Allsop - City of London Police Action Fraud: Victim Support

I thought that my story might show people who are going through a similar experience that it’s not the end of the world and that you can come out of your mental health issues
at the other side.

(Trigger warning for mental health/eating disorders and abusive relationships)

Dear younger Eve,

You’re 14 now. You’ve just got your first boyfriend. Dump him. He’s emotionally manipulative, abusive and he will control your life for a lot longer than you think. This relationship will shape further relationships in your life. It will make you settle for less. It will influence you to put relationships above all else.

Instead, you should focus on your education. Stick in at school, you’ll save yourself a lot of heart-ache. It’s not all doom and gloom though. You get into Northumbria University to do Human Nutrition, meet friends who turn into family, become the fun-loving-party girl you always wanted to be.

Until your eating disorder you developed at 14 takes over your life. You starve yourself until the bones stick through your skin. You get so depressed and anxious that you can’t leave the house without having a panic attack. The thought of walking into a lecture hall with 300 students in it makes you throw up. You try to get help in second year. The university therapist gives you the help you need but it’s too little too late. You’re forced to leave university with half a degree. 

You spend a few years working in bars to tide yourself over. In this time you find more friends who turn into family. You start coming out of your shell again. You start eating. You also get into more unhealthy relationships that keep you down. That keep you from becoming who you’re meant to be. You don’t see it though, you just want love in your life. Who doesn’t?

 

“You should realise that the truest, purest love only comes from within.”

You finally start getting your career in order once you get out of your current abusive relationship. He tells you that you’ll be nothing without him, so you decide to make something of yourself. You start learning how to design posters, leaflets, logos, digital art. You finally feel in control for the first time in years. You get a job working with disabled children. You get another job supporting victims of fraud. You realise your purpose is to help others any way you can. After all you’ve been through, you’ve come out stronger and more capable than you’ll ever know. 

There’s still a long way to go, but stick to your guns kid. It’s a bumpy ride but it’ll all be worth it in the end.

From

Eve

Dear Eve Erin Allsop